Abigail Regucera Design

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Struggling With Mental Illness(es) Or Bad Mental Health As An Entrepreneur

Ah, the taboo topic of mental health and illness and being a business owner. Don’t get me wrong, we have come a long way in addressing mental health and illness overall, but how is it in your business?

Before you continue reading, I highly encourage you to read this article from Here To Help by CMHA (Canadian Mental Health Association), BC Division. Because you’re probably wondering why I address mental illness and mental health as two separate things, two COMPLETELY VALID separate things.

If you are no stranger to me then you might already know about my journey navigating through my mental illnesses. But if you are, hi I’m Abi! And I’m diagnosed with clinical depression, social anxiety, panic disorder and mild OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). Over the years, I have gained the confidence to be open about my mental illnesses in person and on Instagram but I never realized how taboo it is if you own a business (aka me!) I was scrolling through Instagram and came across Canoe Point Design Co’s Instagram Post about how she runs her business while struggling with her mental health and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Out of all the networking events I have attended and the freelancing communities I’m in, little to no business owners address this. It’s only really now in 2021 we have seen a spike in conversation due to the pandemic. And from Colleen’s (Canoe Point Design Co’s owner) Instagram post, I can see why.

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She starts by saying “I’ve always gone back and forth on how much to share through my business on my mental health struggles. My fears are….” and then begin to list her fears. One of them being “Would someone not book me because they’re scared I would drop the ball?” And I couldn’t relate more. This resonated with one of the worst depressive episodes and panic attacks I have ever experienced in my life while working my first design internship. I remember I would leave halfway through the day or call in saying I will arrive at lunch, just to ease my panic. Or I even would go to the bathroom and hide in there to cry, just to come back to my desk to try to focus on my work.

You’re probably thinking (or not), “well you kind of just showed right there that you’ll drop the ball on your work.” 🚨WRONG🚨 I always got my work done, but that’s beside the point. I saw a psychologist and have learned ways that work for me on how to manage my mental illnesses better. And if this ever happened in my business/my full-time job now, I know how to manage it. Any journey, whatever it may be, isn’t linear and the truth of the matter is mental illness and bad mental health doesn’t just go away. You just simply learn how to manage it better. I had a panic attack the night before launching a website, did that stop me from completing the project and launching the website? No. Because I have learned some things to manage the overall journey and when an attack or episode arises.

Here are some of my tips to help manage your mental illness/mental health struggles:

Seek professional help

I have learned a lot from my psychologist and I know therapy helps a lot of people. Friendly reminder that seeking professional help isn’t a one way street. You have to open wanting help, to see growth. I noticed the immense difference when I wasn’t taking into account what I learned from my psychologist vs. when I did.

Call a helpline

Sometimes it’s hard to talk to our loved ones because we don’t want to scare them or sometimes you just don’t have someone to talk to. This is why these helplines are here. And they are here to help you. The same thing with the previous tip, you have to be open to wanting help. I have personally called Good2Talk but some other helplines are Kids Help Phone and Distress Centres of Greater Toronto.

Talk with your community

If you are a freelancer, you most likely have a community. More often than not, other business owners completely get it. The fear of “they just won’t understand” when talking with your loved ones won’t come across when talking to a fellow business owner. The burnt out you get to consistently have clients, feeling not good enough compared to other entrepreneurs, experiencing aggressive clients that trigger you, the list goes on.

Inhale something that smells good

I like eucalyptus essential oil and freshly washed laundry. When I felt a panic attack coming, I rolled on eucalyptus essential oil on my wrists, closed my eyes and inhaled it and did some deep breaths.

Hug a furry friend

Even if you don’t have one, my stuffed animals have helped me before my dog came into my life! If you like human interaction, hug a loved one!

Make the room completely dark

This may sound counterintuitive but when I am super anxious, light makes my anxiety go through the roof so I like hiding underneath my blanket and taking some deep breaths.

Listen to and move your body

Sometimes I don’t like to go out and walk if I am in this state but I try to just sit up in bed and roll my head, stretch my arms and legs. Stretching counts as moving your body and doesn’t matter where you do it!

Take a nap

Panic attacks are exhausting and take a lot out of you. I always hydrate and top it off with a nap.

May is mental health awareness month. But the conversation never ends here. Here’s to continuing to end the stigma!